Love this so much. And this line: "The kind of song I will convince myself that I can sing in the car but that betrays me at Karaoke." Wish I could hear you sing it. xx
omg I loved this riff - I was an "all look no touch all touch bad touch" skinny jeans hipster in high school and everybody assumed me and this rad girl named Kelly (who went on to Dartmouth excellence, MFA at UC-Irvine, PhD at Princeton) were a power couple but I always clarified we were not, she was not interested in me that way, but we kept hanging out just the two of us going to the pool, some skinnydipping at times (breaking into a pool at night ever so risque lol), family day trips to a baseball game, or run a 5k with her and her dad, etc.
Looked suspiciously like a relationship and my hija makes fun of how Olivia Rodrygo/Justin Bieber the situationship seems upon reflection.
Loving these gems Alexander; glad this moment inspired you to be you!
Too sweet! I bet you melt in rain. Yeah, it's one of the vignettes I'm working into one of the many novel MS I write on notes, gdrive, word, my head rofl. Have a great day and lovely weekend thereafter.
And now that song's making ME cry. I'm sorry you were so brutally attacked. And I'm thinking of how hard it must have been for two of my high school friends who came out as gay later. And I was already thinking of them because I'm watching I Am Not Okay With This, and seeing the main character, a high school student, grapple with her sexuality, and wondering where all the lesbians were in my high school, and marveling at how powerful the taboo was, so that some people, like me, couldn't even know about their queerness until much later.
Happy Pride! I appreciate you sharing this difficult story. I have read many coming out stories and heard some from my relatives. Sharing your story is so courageous and will help others. I applaud you and celebrate you!
My favorite song ever. I will sing this with you. Backup singer, backup dancer, back up into my backup. Top of lungs. Oh l'amour, mon amour. What's a boy in love supposed to do?
That night in the woods. You sang! And you sing now still. Yes.
(Erasure was my first concert ever. 1991 or 1992. Chelsea Piers. High-school me hanging with my cool older sister and her college friends. All my anxieties centered around how much I wanted to be like her. And then Andy Bell came onstage wearing a glittery unitard and feathery boa. I think it was to this song that he sang with his back arched impossibly far, far back. My hero for singing this song so majestically.)
For me it was 1989, and it exploded my life, not all in good ways as well. But we are a tough people as a result. That, and pride, we need more than ever now. My work is not done, but we need young people to stand up and claim their stake. Loudly, and with their votes.
A beautiful essay, it reminded me of what it felt like to be at a club with Erasure playing on the dance floor with the tightly bonded tribe of youth. I later traded that for the tight bond of my family, no regrets exactly, but yes, I do miss college days sometimes. I just reread Penelope Fitzgerald’s “The Blue Flower” and this passage (re Novalis speaking to a friend he thinks also suffers in love) made me think of your essay, I hope it applies to your grown-up life today with your husband:
Allow me a glimpse of the future, where our hearts
Are no longer full of anxiety and resignation, and Love and Fortune
Reward us at last for our sacrifices, and far behind us
Roars youth’s wild ocean.
Someday, in the noon-tide of life, we shall both sit at table,
Each of us will be married, with the one we love beside us,
Then we shall look back to how it was in the morning.
Who would’ve dreamed of this? Never does the heart sigh in vain!
Love this so much. And this line: "The kind of song I will convince myself that I can sing in the car but that betrays me at Karaoke." Wish I could hear you sing it. xx
Will definitely sing it at Karaoke with you!
omg I loved this riff - I was an "all look no touch all touch bad touch" skinny jeans hipster in high school and everybody assumed me and this rad girl named Kelly (who went on to Dartmouth excellence, MFA at UC-Irvine, PhD at Princeton) were a power couple but I always clarified we were not, she was not interested in me that way, but we kept hanging out just the two of us going to the pool, some skinnydipping at times (breaking into a pool at night ever so risque lol), family day trips to a baseball game, or run a 5k with her and her dad, etc.
Looked suspiciously like a relationship and my hija makes fun of how Olivia Rodrygo/Justin Bieber the situationship seems upon reflection.
Loving these gems Alexander; glad this moment inspired you to be you!
Thanks so much, Elliott. I love this little story, sounds like a short story.
Too sweet! I bet you melt in rain. Yeah, it's one of the vignettes I'm working into one of the many novel MS I write on notes, gdrive, word, my head rofl. Have a great day and lovely weekend thereafter.
Broke my heart / now I’m aching for you! It’s a small crime that I am not there for this!
We're so overdue for Karaoke together.
Agree! I have new material for you… 🤘
And now that song's making ME cry. I'm sorry you were so brutally attacked. And I'm thinking of how hard it must have been for two of my high school friends who came out as gay later. And I was already thinking of them because I'm watching I Am Not Okay With This, and seeing the main character, a high school student, grapple with her sexuality, and wondering where all the lesbians were in my high school, and marveling at how powerful the taboo was, so that some people, like me, couldn't even know about their queerness until much later.
Well said. Well written.
I could feel the time, and you being there when you knew you had to be out. To be the real you
Happy Pride! I appreciate you sharing this difficult story. I have read many coming out stories and heard some from my relatives. Sharing your story is so courageous and will help others. I applaud you and celebrate you!
Ooof this! Thank you Alex
I cried and cried xo
Thank you! Loved your story and your song, you were fantastic!
My favorite song ever. I will sing this with you. Backup singer, backup dancer, back up into my backup. Top of lungs. Oh l'amour, mon amour. What's a boy in love supposed to do?
That night in the woods. You sang! And you sing now still. Yes.
(Erasure was my first concert ever. 1991 or 1992. Chelsea Piers. High-school me hanging with my cool older sister and her college friends. All my anxieties centered around how much I wanted to be like her. And then Andy Bell came onstage wearing a glittery unitard and feathery boa. I think it was to this song that he sang with his back arched impossibly far, far back. My hero for singing this song so majestically.)
Love you, friend, thank you.
For me it was 1989, and it exploded my life, not all in good ways as well. But we are a tough people as a result. That, and pride, we need more than ever now. My work is not done, but we need young people to stand up and claim their stake. Loudly, and with their votes.
Junior high dance 🥲
My heart! God, Alex. This just did it for me. Much love, and I wish I could have heard you sing (even though I did a little bit). ❤
Oh thank you so much.
Alex, thank you for sharing your words and your voice last night. Everyone was so deeply moved. Most of all, me. 🙏🏻❤️
Thanks for organizing it! A beautiful night!
Thanks Sari!
A beautiful essay, it reminded me of what it felt like to be at a club with Erasure playing on the dance floor with the tightly bonded tribe of youth. I later traded that for the tight bond of my family, no regrets exactly, but yes, I do miss college days sometimes. I just reread Penelope Fitzgerald’s “The Blue Flower” and this passage (re Novalis speaking to a friend he thinks also suffers in love) made me think of your essay, I hope it applies to your grown-up life today with your husband:
Allow me a glimpse of the future, where our hearts
Are no longer full of anxiety and resignation, and Love and Fortune
Reward us at last for our sacrifices, and far behind us
Roars youth’s wild ocean.
Someday, in the noon-tide of life, we shall both sit at table,
Each of us will be married, with the one we love beside us,
Then we shall look back to how it was in the morning.
Who would’ve dreamed of this? Never does the heart sigh in vain!
Beautiful essay!
It's so sad that he felt the same about you but "didn't want to be gay"
Everything 💜